I'm nervous.

There isn't a lot of time left and I'm feeling it. I'm feeling like my feet are stuck and cement and I'm having trouble taking the next step. I have a lot of images to retake. I want to shoot medium format I think because I'm happy with some of the images and think that maybe I should stay with that but I feel like I also need to shoot with the 4x5 but only of the images I'm sure that I am going with and then decide which format I like better. I haven't posted any images in a while because I wasn't really happy with the images and felt like scanning them was going to be a waste of time. This portfolio review is approaching so fast and I don't feel like I am prepared. I need more images and I'm dragging. I'm really excited though for tomorrow. Stephanie and I are shooting on friday

Whats New.

I'm really excited that over spring break I found 4 extra film holders for the 4 by 5 stored away from when I had taken the View Camera class. I showed my parents my recent work and my mom brought up the resemblence of my images to a show I saw at a gallery in Chicago of black and white prints of the variety of different garages many years ago. Of all the museums and galleries I've seen that one still sticks out. Last semester I looked at the work of Jeff Seltzer and his work is kind of what I'm going for with my own. Here are some of his images.

more photos

medium format photos

Ah large format

The tripod didn't fit with the camera. I will have 120 negatives tomorrow but nothing else I assume. I was really feeling good about the work I was doing and now I'm disliking the whole process. I feel so overwhelmed with all the things that I have to do this semester... remembering them and keeping up with everything. I realized yesterday how much I need spring break. I also feel so uncomfortable shooting in the industrial areas when I have to spend so much time setting up the shot. I really could use a friend to be there with me.

Todays Agenda

Today is going to be my first day shooting with the 4x5. The weather hasn't been great lately and I didn't want to risk damaging it but now I'm worried I won't have prints by Thursday. Honestly I'm nervous about going out by myself shooting I wish I had someone to go with me. I looked up the photo tech place in shockoe bottom and that is where I'm planning to take my film. I also will be turning in some medium format film too. I'm not going to go any place new today I'm going to shoot previous locations.

Deadpan Photography

The last crit I was told to look up deadpan photography. I found a defintion in an article in the Boston Globe. The article is called Here's Looking At You.... "engaging yet ambiduous, deadpan photography provides a refuge from emotion in a time of worry" and it is by Greg Cook. It says that "Neutral expressions and cool, head-on compositions have become one of the signature styles of today's art photography. Some have called it deadpan photography: The tone is impassive, matter-of-fact, detached. Often people are posed." Later on in the article it says" Deadpan style is not limited to portraits. Deadpan photography often feels as if its presenting evidence or specimens, rigorously and dispassionately recorded, to study types, structures, forms.

Today- Stressed, verbal regurgitation

Today I had to force myself to blog. I have so many things I need to do and should do and all I want to do is stay in bed. I had a therapy appointment and I went and then I just felt drained and wanted to sleep. I went back to my boyfriends apartment where I'm basically living even though I have an apartment near campus with a roommate and two cats that I feel like I'm neglecting. I stop in every couple of days to scoop the poop and give them fresh water. My roommate gives them food if it runs out. My cats are super social and talkative and are probably driving my roommate insane, but she is getting to pretty much live alone which really is what she wanted anyways.. They crave attention which makes me feel bad for not being there much. I was going to check my email, I couldn't remember when I was suppose to work the bake sale, but before I could I got a text asking where I was because I was suppose to be at the bake sale. Oops, when I signed up I didn't have my calendar with me and forgot to write it down. I had that appointment which would've made me late anyways. So I rushed over to school and couldn't find anyone. I texted Alex and it took about ten minutes to get a text back that they had moved into the fine arts building. I went but pretty much my time slot was over. I stayed for a little bit and decided I was going to bake something to do my part. I went back to my boyfriends and went to bed. At 3pm my boyfriend Daniel calls me and asks what I'm doing. He knew I would be in bed. He works like 12 and 14 hours a day and since I don't pay anything for staying at his place I do the laundry and dishes. I said I would this morning. He gave me a hard time and suggested that I go do my laundry at his ex wife's house. Sounds weird, right? They have to teenage sons together and she is remarried with 3 kids under the age of 7 running around. Daniel used to do laundry over there on his days off or drop it off. He has a great relationship with Rebecca and Ethan, the parents, and I have become friends with them. So I call her and she says to come on over. Its a mad house there, but it helps to be around people, and I try to help up with the kids so I say I'll do my homework if they do theirs. So that is why I'm doing this. Sometimes I just want to have a person to sit in a room with me and have them make sure I stay on task and out of bed. So today I needed to do laundry, dishes, bake sale, pay tuition, go to the bank, talk to my mom, blog, clean up my room, I said I'd bake so now I need to bake, I'm sure I'm missing things I'm just feeling down and drained. I need a shower. I took my medicine pretty much on time today. I just feel overwhelmed there are so many things that I could have done today but just avoided. I didn't want to blog I knew I wasn't going to necessarily be productive but it feels good to vent. Today wasn't a photo day for me. Today was a down day. Hopefully tomorrow I'll feel better.

Catching up-The Crit

Start and finish tonight!

Catching up- Before the Crit

I was worried about the crit. I was worried if I didn't do the suggested before and after clean up pics that it would show a lack of respect in some ways. I like to hear what people have to say about my work but I often don't like to try new directions. I was fighting myself for a week about cleaning. My compromise was doing the suggested and doing what I really wanted to do, I felt like a child for being so stubborn about it.

My "version" of an Artist Statement from Fall Final

Artist Statement

There are three words that I use to describe my series Observed; they are mundane, observation and evidence. Mundane is the subject matter, observation is what they are and in each image there is evidence of human presence or natural decay. The images I choose to make are based on little things that capture my eye, such as lines, patterns, light, the ironic and things that imply something happened or is going to happen. I’m an observer, I take images of what I happen upon. I’m intrigued by empty spaces. I enjoy the lack of interaction with people, which explains the lack of people in these pictures. I believe part of the attraction that I have towards the subject matter is the lack of clutter and chaos, which I have and can’t seem to manage in my own space or life. The lost and or found objects have to do with my own anxiety of losing or misplacing my own things. I try to piece things together or make up stories of the “what ifs” which also has to do with anxiety and trying to be prepared for any situation that I may find myself in. Although this may not be present in all these final images, I think that in some it’s evident. My ideas of why I take these images continue to change. My images throughout the semester have really changed, although I had in mind what is now the final product the whole time, I just lost my original direction for a while. It has been a struggle to get to this point but I think that my vision and concept has improved tremendously. I think that this series has a way to go but has now gotten on the right path.

William Eggleston Quotes

" Why not be silent?"

"I'm at war with the obvious."

“it's just about impossible to follow up with words. They don't have anything to do with each other."

I feel the same way.